Dragonball Evolution

When I heard they are going to make a movie out of Dragonball, I was all excited. When I heard Stephen Chow is going to be the producer, I was ecstatic. This movie is gonna be great. Or so I thought. It's gonna par with Kung-Fu Hustle at least. Well, when you are watching this movie, don't put your expectations to much. It sucks. But I guess I'm not the first one telling you about that. Only a retard hardcore fanboy will think movie is epic. this movie is epic alright, EPIC FAIL. Evolution my ass.

First of all, let's talk about characters. The movie maker somehow decided that strange unrealistic characters like Oolong and Tien will not included so this movie can have more realistic feeling. Yea rite. Apparently Krilin is one of the "strange and unrealistic character" too because he's not in it as well. I guess they think a green mean looking alien is more realistic compared to Krilin. Since Goku is an alien too, they think it would be wise if a westerner played him. Then let him surrounded by mostly asians supporting characters (Yamcha, Roshi, Chi Chi, and Goku's Grandpa are all asians) to have that more "alienated" feeling. Congratulations James Wong! You now have a brain smaller than your own penis.

Now let's talk about story.... but then again maybe not. Everybody pretty much know what Dragonball is all about. A villain comes bla bla bla destroy everything bla bla bla Goku trains like there's no tomorrow bla bla bla epic showdown bla bla bla summon teh uber leet dagon (what? i mispelled? ok dRagon. happy now?) and fix the nearly destroyed earth. The End. But James Wong somehow manage to make the story shallower and more retard than already is.

Dragonball movie won't be complete without fights. Thank God there are few fights. If there aren't, it would be like watching Teletubbies. The fights are not worth mentioning tho, it's just your typical shitty choreographed fights. Good thing this is a movie, or else we have to spend 3 more episodes before Goku finally throw a punch, another two episodes for flashbacks, and another 4 episodes to finally see where that punch landed. If you are the type of person who is looking for an eruptive action sequence where Goku's fight will leave a trail of massive giant holes around, well forget it because there aren't any. At least you to see Goku transformed into one giant monster like he did in the comics tho. Although... due to tight budget, the monster seems to be ...a bit smaller.

Even when the movie sucks, don't worry disappointed fans, because James Wong have just the thing for you. James Wong decided that Chi Chi (Jamie Chung) should (and must) reveal her cleavage at all times in the movie so that butt-hurt fans will pay more attention to it and somehow relieve them from their rage.

So, enjoy this crappy movie. :)